Beginnings require endings
An End, And a Beginning
Today I walked my dog in a windy area and sat down on a rock overlooking the entire bay–San Francisco, Marin, Treasure Island, even Oakland were all visible. The wind was whipping and I saw multiple beautiful hawks hunting for their dinners. It felt surreal and peaceful, and also very raw and wild. I was able to get a lot of clarity on my own health, where I live, next steps in my life.
It seems to be part of my destiny to 1) work harder and try harder than anyone else I know and 2) to be betrayed. Or maybe it is not betrayal, but that the things I would do for someone are not reciprocated. Perhaps that just means I give too much instead of it being a flaw about someone else.
But I’ve been promised a lot of things, and had many people say they would help…who disappear when the going gets tough.
Tomorrow is a full moon and it is a start, a new beginning, and a culmination of the past month.
I am saying goodbye to Boston, friends who have not supported me, people who made promises they failed to keep, anyone who makes me feel bad or anxious or creates obstacles for me.
I am embracing a new beginning, and, I’ve done it before, many times, so I’ll show you how.
My Path Hit a Curve Ball
We all want similar things: to be loved, to be safe, to feel like we have meaning.
Before I talk about what I need to end, and how I’ll have a beautiful beginning I want to acknowledge the curve ball.
Building Rêve Health has provided meaning, but in it, I have sacrificed a salary, time off, love, and stability. I reached out to people last month, attempting to avoid getting funding, and so, so many people who could use our help and claim to want to help just ignored me.
So I went on the fundraising circuit, which inevitably means, as my friend Jen says, an inability to actually work on my business. “Good luck with all the decks and hope the money hits the bank soon so you can get back to building your new empire :).”
I got calls and emails back from every single investor I reached out to, and every one said they wanted to explore additional conversations.
Rêve Health is doing amazing, but all businesses require money to scale. We’ve put all the money back into the business meaning nothing is leftover for us…and the reality is, it’s just not sustainable.
We have, as my good ex says, a visibility problem, not a product problem. And that requires money.
Good Things Take Time
Rêve Health is literally getting compared to Function Health, and Parsley and companies with millions (more than $53 million for Function…) in funding, celebrity teams, and hundreds of thousands in advertisements.
We’ve had people not renew with these big companies and instead choose us!
We are growing through word of mouth and social media.
But it’s not enough to give ourselves salaries. And for me, it means I’ve lost almost everything.
Ironically I cannot afford the services, like Acupunture and saunas, that I require to stave off menopause. Or the holistic facials that help me look youthful. Or the time off and relaxation to help me sleep well. I am doing all the wrong things, and it’s aging me–all while I am teaching other people how to heal, reverse their age, and be happy.
I know good things take time, just like with health–overnight fixes, like funding to a degree, are like the GLP-1. They work short term but cause long term issues, and the moment you stop the “fix” the solution goes away.
I believe in what we are building and we are committed, but it is hard.
Acknowledging the challenges
The only way to move forward with something is to really acknowledge the challenges, to allow yourself to feel all the sad feels, and to trim the fat, as it were, from your life.
I am pissed off at the friends who said they will buy, or post about us, or refer us and didn’t.
The people who promised me many many things for my safety and stability who abandoned me to serve their own needs.
The people who expect a 10 month old company to make the same revenue as a 15+ year old consultancy.
The people who told me they would do warm intros to investors or partners and bailed.
The “friends” who said we are so awesome but couldn’t find a few minutes to write a review.
I can’t forgive them (not now, possibly not ever) because they made the path a thousand times harder.
But I can forgive myself: for being too generous, too trusting, forgetting to believe in myself.
And I can use the challenges to fuel a new beginning, taking only the best parts of what I have now, and making a quick end to all the things and people who no longer serve me.
As Toni Morrison said, “You wanna fly? You got to give up what weighs you down.”
Steps to a New Start
I’m very good at teaching others how to embrace a new beginning so I’ll put the key lessons here, and take them for myself and hopefully others will find them helpful.
1. Be grateful for all the good things. For me right now, it is a roof over my head, a healthy dog, healthy food, beautiful walks, some incredible friends who have gone above and beyond to help. Really, really be grateful. Love what you have and add up all the small things: a hot shower, a smile from a stranger, an amazing blueberry and spinach salad. Be so happy for these things that are out of reach for some.
2. Take account of all the incredible things achieved in the past 30 days. Write them down. Really pay attention to, and thank yourself, for all the ways you showed up in the past month. Now think about the past 3 months…6 months…year. What are all the things you did, and the steps you took, to create a life for yourself? I’ve found that the people who are most unhappy or inpatient are those with a short-term memory of the successes. For me, it is things like, a sale, a great discovery call, an incredible hike, driving across country (which I was doing, this time last month–we were in Ohio on May 10th!), going to an incredible conference, meeting with some of the most powerful leaders in the world, having wine outside with a friend.
3. Take account of the things that do not serve you. What made you feel bad, or anxious or scared? Did anyone promise you something they failed to deliver on? Did people believe in you, or not? Is there excess baggage in terms of things you own, or obligations you no longer want a part of? Anyone, anything, or any place that puts a pit in your stomach or causes you to question yourself has got to go. Anyone who has betrayed you needs to go. Acknowledge the hurts and make a note of the red flags that may have appeared earlier that you ignored.
4. Know who you are and your values. I find this is the key to truly embracing a new start, because first you must embrace yourself!! What drives and motivates you? What are the things that define you? Are these outdated values ? For me two outdated values are being generous and resilient. I’m over both of them. I have had too many set-backs and heartbreaks because I’m the type of person who will give everything I have to people who do not do the same for me. Over it. But the values which will remain are loyalty to those who have shown me that in return, honesty, joy, passion, kindness. I will always care for animals and walk in nature. I will always choose a more plant-based diet, and be healthy and strong. These are unwavering values. I choose to earn a living helping others–but I need to be more discerning on not hurting myself in the process.
5. Create the plan. Plans start with dreams: what it your greatest aspiration, no holds barred? Now, what steps can you take, day by day, little by little, like a goat climbing a mountain, can you do to achieve those goals? For me right now it is daily meetings with angels, people from my past who ALWAYS believed in me, friends who have never let me down that I reached out to and ask for help to achieve my dream. I am taking the steps to create the life I love so I can help others do the same.
